For the Self Employed: 10 ways to keep going when the going gets tough

Recently I took the leap and became self-employed full time. We've been in business for several years, but the time finally came to make a real go of it. It's been one week now and I'm not sure how I feel yet. "Numb" is the word that quickly comes to mind, but I think that's only accurate if you use the following definition of "numb":

NUMB, pronounced (nuhm), - adjective, meaning experiencing a state of shock
so intense as to convince the person experiencing it that everything's cool
so they aren't overwhelmed by the abject fear that consumes them.

Current emotional state not withstanding, things are going very well. The new version of our website is live and getting good reviews. My phone hasn't stopped ringing...yet. My calendar is only a little less full than it was when I was working for someone else. And clients are thankfully still agreeing to work with us.

What I find most fascinating is how easy it is to forget everything you know when you're trying to access the information for yourself. When I was the PTAC Director, I never hesitated when a small business owner asked me how to market themselves. The answers came easily. The advice flowed freely (especially since PTAC is a government funded non-profit organization that offers free services to small businesses who want to sell to the government).

This week I've asked friends and colleagues the same questions my clients asked me: Where should I be marketing? Who should my target customers be? How often and how should I contact them?

It wasn't until I was half way through a delicious reuben sandwich at the Rusty Bucket, listening to a very dear friend and colleague tell me how to get myself focused that I realized I was listening to my own words. It was like he was playing back a recording of every conversation I had ever had with a client. I stopped him for a moment and said, "Tom, I just realized that you're telling me the things I've been telling clients for years. What in the world is happening to me? Why am I suddenly feeling like I don't know anything?"

"Validation," came his response.

He was right. It's easy to feel confident when you're working for someone else because there's validation inherently built into the system. First, you were hired. So your boss believed you can do the job. Second, you haven't been fired. So your boss still believes you can do the job. Third, customers keep coming back. So they believe you can do the job. Working for yourself automatically removes 2 out of 3 of your validation sources. There's nobody to tell you (directly or indirectly) that you know what you're doing. Frankly, it's a little unnerving to realize just how much value that built-in validation provides.

Well...it's too late to go back. So now I have to determine where I can get the validation I need. Here's what I've come up with so far:

1.Keep your closest colleagues on speed dial & don't be afraid
to call them for a boost every now and then
2.Schedule at least 2 lunch meetings a month (one every other week)
with people who think you're smart and helpful
3.Call your Mom (if she's anything like mine). She can't get enough
of telling you how fantastic you are.
4.Go back through old files or your resume and remind yourself of the
things you've done in your career.
5.Make a SHORT but significant To Do list & complete EVERY item on it in a day.
It is amazing how much confidence you can get from completing a list.
6.Open Quickbooks and review old
invoices. Seriously, there is nothing more validating than reminding
yourself that someone has been willing to pay for your services.
7.Hang awards on your office wall. It's not pretentious. It helps new
clients know you aren't a fly-by-night operation and it subconsciously
builds you up.
8.Find your pump up song. On Ally McBeal, the characters had theme songs.
Play that song while you work and let it get you excited.
Seriously! It works.
9.Make a list of the top 10 reasons you left "corporate" life.
10.Make a list of the top 10 things you love about being self employed.

Use these ideas to keep yourself motivated (whether you're self employed or just have a boss who's too self-centered to realize that we all need a little validation now and then). Plus, share any pointers you have in the comments section below.

Thanks!

"Master of the Obvious"

I'm a graduate student at the University of Dayton (Go Flyers!) finishing my Masters of Education in Community Counseling. That means I'm training to be a therapist. One day in class, I commented on something the professor said because I wanted clarification. A classmate turned to me and said, "You have an uncanny grasp of the obvious."

"Thank you?" I thought to myself.

To this day I don't know if that was a compliment or a brazen slap in the face. What I've come to accept, is that there are an awful lot of folks in business who have no grasp of the obvious. We get so caught up in sounding smart or powerful or in charge that we forget to simply state the obvious.

How many times have you sat in a business meeting and thought, "what are these people talking about?" The trend is so bad there are games like Conference Call Bingo where folks try to get 5-across on a playing card filled with meaningless corporate jargon that does little more than bore the listener. In its worst forms, these phrases confuse employees and customers alike.

Let me know if any of these sound familiar to you:

- We're a global solutions provider
- Our people make the difference
- We need to go the extra mile
- Let's look at the big picture
- We can't lose sight of our value-add

We've grown so accustomed to hearing these phrases from our leaders in the workplace that we've forgotten to ask them what they actually mean! When was the last time you asked your boss, "Hey, when you say ,'Our people make the difference,' what do you mean by that? What kind of difference are we making? Are the employees 'Our people' or is there some group in a back office somewhere with the title 'Our people'?"

I'm interested in your thoughts. What are the things you hear in the office that make you scratch your head and ask, "Huh?" What are the questions you'd really like to ask your boss (you know, if you weren't scared to death that you'd be fired for speaking out)?